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12 X 12 Featured Author December 2018 – Karla Valenti

12 x 12 Featured Author December 2018 – Karla Valenti

12 x 12 Member Karla ValentiSo here we are, twelve months later. Perhaps you wrote 12 manuscripts (or more); perhaps you wrote one. No matter. The first order of business is a round of applause because writing is serious business. After all, you are committing to make magic, to bring joy, to provide insights into the depth of our shared human experience. That is no small thing.

Second, few things make us feel as vulnerable and exposed as sharing our work. So, I want to thank you all for your honesty and courage in doing just that. As a Critique Ninja, I had the opportunity to read so many wonderful manuscripts: stories that made me laugh or swoon or simply pause to relish the experience of a perfect collaboration of words. I truly hope you all continue to find and create inspiration in this next year.

On the topic of being inspired, I thought it might be helpful to share some insights on what I learned as your Critique Ninja, trends I saw, and practical tips to help you revise your stories in the new year.

With that in mind…

  1. Beware of “telling” (or, not enough “showing”)

Showing vs. telling is tricky. It sounds good in theory, but what exactly does this look like in practice? And how do you know if you’re telling or showing? And should you always be showing, is there never a time to tell?

I like to think of showing vs. telling as the difference between inviting your reader to be a direct participant in the story and having your narrator tell the reader about the story. In the first instance, the reader feels as if she’s right there in the story (she is the MC), living everything first-hand. Telling, on the other hand, keeps your reader at arm’s-length, needing to get the story from the narrator’s version of events (whether that’s your MC or a third-party).


(a) Think of showing as offering proof. You provide evidence; your reader experiences it and arrives at the truth herself.


“Oliver was angry!”

The narrator is telling us about Oliver’s emotional state, but the reader isn’t experiencing the anger herself.

“Oliver trembled; a ball of heat grew inside him threatening to explode!”

This isn’t an amazing sentence but it is providing evidence of anger. The reader assimilates it and arrives at the conclusion that Oliver was angry. This is showing.

By the way, anytime you name an emotion, you are telling.  When revising your manuscripts, identify all references to an emotion and try to communicate the emotions without spelling things out so bluntly. THE EMOTION THESAURUS is a wonderful resource for this.

(b) Offer facts, not opinions or judgements. Let the reader decide how she thinks or feels about what’s happening.


Billy was a bully.”

The narrator is proving an opinion. The reader is expected to agree. This is telling.

Billy knocked Oliver off the swing and laughed.”

The narrator is simply providing the facts; the reader is providing the opinion (“That Billy is such a bully!”). This act of formulating her own opinion, allows the reader to feel like she is participating in the story rather than simply being led along by the narrator.

(c) Think of readers as detectives, they like to figure things out themselves. So, drop clues along the way that the reader can pick up to put two-and-two together.


Suzy was an inquisitive child.”

This is the narrator providing a conclusion.

Suzy devoured books long into the night and peppered her parents with questions for hours the next morning.”

You have provided clues that the reader can interpret on her own.

(d) Minimize the dialogue. Talking is, by its very nature, telling. Anytime your characters are talking, the story is being told. That’s not to say you should never have dialogue in your stories. The key is to remember that readers like to feel engaged, they prefer active vs. passive acts. Use dialogue, but be selective about when and how you do so to ensure it doesn’t bring the story to a halt.

(e) One final point here, just because showing is more engaging than telling doesn’t mean you should always be showing. There are times when telling is better (particularly when you want to create distance between the reader and the characters, or when you don’t need to take the readers so in-depth). The key is to be mindful of when and how you tell vs. show and use these techniques strategically.


  1. Not enough story structure (or, the missing goal)

Structure is essential to reader engagement. That doesn’t mean stories must be formulaic or all follow the same pattern. Rather, think of structure like the framework that supports a house. You need columns and floors, ceilings and walls in order to ensure your house will stand. That said, once the structure is in place, there are many variations your house can take.

Stories built around a solid structure make it easy for readers to enter into that space and explore new ideas. Conversely, if the story lacks structure, the reader may spend a great deal of time simply trying to get his footing.

So how does one build a story structure? There are many components to this. However, the first requirement is to ensure there is a goal.


(a) A goal creates a purpose; it gives the reader a compelling reason to join the story in lieu of any number of other things he may want to do. To be clear, a goal need not be loud or dramatic (it can be as quiet as “being quiet”), it doesn’t need to be big or even span beyond the 32 pages of the book. However, you want the reader to know what this goal is from the very beginning, and it must be something towards which the MC is actively working throughout the story. So, ask yourself: what does the MC want? Why is this particular moment in your MC’s life so very important? Why should the reader care? Try to fit this goal in one sentence and use that as your guiding post throughout the rest of the story. (e.g. the MC wants X)

(b) As the story unfolds, it’s easy to get distracted and take our characters in various and tangential directions, exploring other objectives or ideas. Keep the story on track by making sure that every scene in your story ties back to your underlying goal (e.g. the MC wants X and everything he does is in pursuit of X).

(c) Your MC’s goal must be within his capabilities, realistically-achievable, and believable by your MC (i.e. the reader may not believe the goal is realistic or worth pursuing. That’s irrelevant. What matters, is that the MC thinks it’s so).

(d) Consider, is there a challenge or oppositional force? What (or who) is preventing your MC from reaching his goal? This is important because it creates conflict (and conflict is always engaging). Also, it keeps the goal ever-present in your reader’s mind. To be sure, a quiet story may not have an oppositional force and that’s fine. You just want to avoid a narrative where your MC has reached his goal before the story really gets rolling.

(e) Perhaps your MC doesn’t have a specific goal and this is simply a story about… being. In that case, make sure you have a goal. What do you want to achieve with this story? What do you want to leave your reader with at the end? Does every scene further that goal?


  1. Not enough agency (or too many helpers stealing the MC’s thunder)

The MC has a goal and the reader wants to see the MC either reach it or not. It matters less whether the MC succeeds than whether the MC makes an effort. Think about that. A reader is less interested in a happy ending than in an ending well pursued.

Why? Because this is how things go down in real life. If we want something, we have to be the ones to go after it. If we want something done, we have to do it.

A character who is simply given what they want or whose problems are solved for them is not nearly as compelling as one who has to struggle – to suffer! – in pursuit of her dream. Just think about someone you greatly admire. I would venture to say that what makes them admirable isn’t necessarily what they accomplished, but what it cost them to accomplish it (how hard they worked to reach their goal).

We can relate to struggle, we know how hard it is to want something and not be able to have it. On the other hand, few of us can relate to being given everything we want or need. Which is to say, a character who doesn’t have to struggle or is given all the answers, is a character to whom we cannot relate.


(a) Identify the specific acts your character is taking in pursuing their goal and make sure those are the acts that matter. Someone else can “lend a hand” but in the end, make sure the MC is the one who does the hard work and actually solves the problem. Keep your secondary characters from stealing the MC’s thunder!

(b) Take a close look at the moment when your character gets what they want. Did they “earn” it or was the solution handed to them (or worse, it came to them out of thin air)? How hard did the character actually have to work to get it? Hopefully, insanely hard!

(c) Make your character suffer; test their mettle. Or…. to put it a less tortuous way, give them an opportunity to shine. The more a character struggles, the more meaningful their victory becomes. That’s because the value of their success is directly related to the effort they put in pursuing it. If it’s too easy a win, it diminishes their effort.

(d) Of course, there are stories that don’t require such a dramatic struggle. However, keep the spotlight pinned on your MC; make sure you are spending most of your story real-estate on your MC and that your MC is the one doing what needs to be done. And by the way, this doesn’t mean the MC has do everything right. Mistakes count as effort (and make the story more interesting). As long as the MC is actively pursuing the goal, whether they succeed or fail is not important.

In closing, writing is very much like setting off on an adventure. You have a goal, you have a challenge. You try and try and try again. Maybe you’ll fail, maybe you’ll succeed. For sure you’ll struggle – you’ll suffer! – you’ll want to walk away. Maybe someone else will steal your thunder. But like the characters we come to love the most, your heroic self will surface in the simple act of continuing to put pen to paper and chase that story into the next year. Hopefully these tips and strategies will fit in your toolbox and help you get to THE END of your next adventure.


Karla Valenti is a writer of children’s picture books and middle grade novels. She also offers picture book critiques ( and a Master Course on Picture Book Writing ( After six wonderful years in Germany, Karla has recently moved back to Evanston, IL where she lives with her husband and three kids. Her new book, MARIE CURIE AND THE POWER OF PERSISTENCE, is due out from Sourcebooks in Spring 2019. 

This month Karla is giving away a spot in your Master Course in Picture Book Writing to one lucky 12 x 12 member. Get those drafts done and finish strong!

This Post Has 181 Comments
  1. Congratulations on being this month’s featured author, Karla!!! What a wonderfully insightful article! I am so fortunate to be one of Karla’s CPs, so can attest both to her knowledge and passion with respect to writing children’s books. And her critiques are so thorough and spot-on that she’s been lovingly transmogrified into a verb of admiration, as in, “I think I need to have this story Karla’d.” 🙂

    1. Oh, yeah! I get that Derick Wilder (December 1st comment). I just started Karla’s course plus I had a great critique through 12×12. This post is packed with value, Karla. Thank you.

  2. Thanks for a great post, Karla! Your “show, don’t tell” examples were terrific! And I agree . . . writing is very much like setting off on an adventure! Cheers to many more in 2019 – and I’m looking forward to reading MARIE CURIE! Congratulations!

  3. Congrats, Karla…and more than that…thank you so much for the mini workshop in picture book writing. I especially love the clear examples you gave for Show Vs. Tell. I can’t wait to read your book!!!!

  4. Hi Karla, Thanks for this terrific article with clear, concise tips. I am bookmarking it for future reference. You are a fabulous teacher and beautiful, too! (Your photo is gorgeous.) I am eternally grateful for all you have taught me and consider you to be a key ingredient to my success.

  5. Thank you for a FANTASTIC post on craft. I also looked at your website and blog. You have a tremendous amount of information over there also. I look forward to reading Marie Curie – congrats!

  6. Great ideas here on craft. I need to write it down and read it after each draft is done and then use the information. Good luck with your next project. My goal is to be brave enough to submit the whole story
    to critique ninjas next year. Thank you.

  7. Oh my goodness… Chock full of helpful tips! I need to print this out & refer to it often. So glad I read this at the *beginning* of this 12th month so I can finish strong!

  8. Great post! Thanks so much. Show, don’t tell–no matter how hard I try, I hear that at least once with every new manuscript.

  9. I need to print your post as you have so many good points. I can already see the story I’m currently writing will need some intervention, but I like the premise so I’m marching on. Thanks so much!

  10. What a fabulous and informative post! Definitely plan on printing this out and keeping on hand for reference! Thank you!!

  11. Thank you! I love the details in your post, including your examples for, “Show don’t tell.” I think my inner critic’s voice isn’t as nice as you are. Because I heard, “If your MC doesn’t have a goal, then you better!” I laughed at myself for having to, “translate,” my inner critic’s voice back to what you said so much more kindly. Then I got to appreciate the great point you made: “Goals,” come on different levels. 🙂

  12. Good advice is always so easy to understand in the abstract, but much more difficult to apply to my manuscripts. Thanks for your insights. 🙂

  13. Great review Karla. I plan to print it out to reference it and ask myself some of those questions as I draft my next manuscript. Thanks so much!

  14. Thank you Karla for such a great post – am going to keep it close by to look at every time I finish a manuscript to help with my revision!

  15. Thanks, Karla, for you spot-on advice with excellent examples. I’ll read this again and again. Congrats on your newest book.

  16. Thank you so much Karla for your excellent post with great insight and tips. Lots of useful examples here that will greatly assist my revision. I look forward to reading Marie Curie. Best wishes

  17. Thank you for the wonderful post! You always give such great examples when explaining concepts. I’ll have to add this to my “Karla” binder. In addition to all your class resources, I printed numerous Facebook posts and emails where you gave examples of the core principles. You are an amazing teacher!

  18. What a great post of key elements and focused reminders to consider with each WIP — love the word “proof” as a way to look at using showing not telling. Thanks, Karla!

  19. This post is a great reminder of how hard good picture book writing is! Thanks for sharing your insight, Karla. Good luck with the upcoming book, too! #sciencenerd

  20. Karla, Thanks for one fantastic post! I got writer’s cramp copying down all your great tips and points into my writer’s notebook. But so worth it. Loads of good info to refer to as we work on the next story … and the next and the next. Thanks for all the inspiration, AND for being a critique ninja.

  21. There is so much great information packed into one post here. I don’t know how you did it, but I really appreciate it. 🙂

  22. Thank you for this excellent crash course in writing for children! Especially loved, “The more a character struggles, the more meaningful their victory becomes.” How true! And as writer’s we can certainly apply it to our writing life! Great post and thanks for your work as a Critique Ninja!

  23. Karla,
    Congratulations on being December 2018 Feature author! And thank you for being a Critique Ninja and for the lessons to remember while writing and editing our stories; excellent tips (I printed them out to keep handy as I write and/or get stumped). This, ‘Of course, there are stories that don’t require such a dramatic struggle’ section spoke to me because it reflects comments I have received from a few agents about my work. You helped me understand what they meant.
    Looking forward to reading your new book. about Marie Curie; she was a fascinating woman.

  24. Great advice and the tip that will help me to ‘show’ is where I need to prove what it is I’m trying to say. Thanks, Karen.

  25. Oh, Karla, you always offer such wonderful insights. Thank you for your generosity in sharing in-depth trends and tips. I constantly learn from you.

  26. Such and excellent and thorough post, Karla! I love how specifically you’ve expanded on each point. I’m going to save this one as a PDF for future reference. Thank you!

  27. Karla,
    Thank you for being a critique ninja this year. Your insights as to the common errors you saw is extremely beneficial. I copied them so that I can remember them to assess my own manuscript to make sure I’m not making the same errors. Super helpful post.

  28. I like the comparison of our journeys as writers to that of our MCs! I’m going to start thinking of myself, when I tackle my next new manuscript or even as I approach revisions, as the MC in someone else’s story. I suspect the objectivity gained from a “mental adjustment” like that could be very valuable. And perhaps a lot of fun, too. Thanks!

  29. Karla, what a fantastic blog to end the year with–lots of knowledge & tips for all writers to use 🙂 Congrats on your forthcoming book, and welcome back to the States!

  30. Wonderful post, Karla! I’m always amazed at your knowledge and the ability to impart that knowledge in a clear and meaningful way. Can’t wait to read your book!

  31. Wow! What a terrific post!
    Congratulations on your new book. I look forward to reading about Marie Curie next spring. You had so many wonderful nuggets in this post. I thought I’d add a few here to reinforce them in my brain:
    – “I like to think of showing vs. telling as the difference between inviting your reader to be a direct participant in the story and having your narrator tell the reader about the story.”
    – “A reader is less interested in a happy ending than in an ending well pursued.”
    – “That’s because the value of their success is directly related to the effort they put in pursuing it. If it’s too easy a win, it diminishes their effort.”
    And, I can’t believe I’ve never heard of the EMOTION THESAURUS!
    Thank you again!

  32. Oh my gosh, this post is FILLED with great advice! I think I’ll print it out, as a checklist for scrubbing each MS. Thanks so much!

  33. Hi Karla. This advice is so useful! I have written it up as a checklist to lay against my current works in progress, and to use as a blueprint for future stories. Many thanks – Pauline.

  34. Hi Karla – I love your analogy of having the readers be the detectives…finding the clues we leave as writers and allowing the readers to come to their own conclusions. I will remember that! Congratulations on your newest book and thank you for sharing your knowledge and for being a 12 x 12 critique ninja!

  35. Minimize the dialogue. Wow, this is not one I hear much. Dialogue feels to me the most difficult part of writing in stories. You pinpointed why. It feels resonant within my inner child. But other teachers have tried to push me into more dialogue.
    Don’t worry, I’m not going to avoid writing dialogue with you as my excuse! But I will really think about this more. When and how to use it.

    You covered an entire mini-course right here. Will be looking back and rereading it before revising drafts! Thank you for sharing so much useful information!

  36. An adventure, you say. Like writing a PB. Well, I agree. One surprising thought is that we should minimize dialog. I thought dialog was one way of showing. Discuss. Thank you for your words of expertise.

  37. Thank you so much Karla for this fantastic post! I seem to be struggling with the “Show not Tell” part of my story and this helps so much! Am printing it and keeping it with my revisions.

  38. Thank you, Karla. This is like a mini-course. So helpful!! And congratulations on the upcoming publication of MARIE CURIE AND THE POWER OF PERSISTENCE. I’m looking forward to reading it!

  39. Thanks, Karla, for these timeless reminders of good writing tips. It’s easy to forget the basics., but we do so at our peril. Good stuff here.

  40. Thank you, Karla, for a great lesson in writing and structuring picture books! I especially appreciated the examples of show versus tell!

  41. Thank you so much for the insightful post. You’re examples are clear and helpful. I’ll be going back to my WIPs with these tips in mind. I look forward to reading your new book!

  42. My first 12×12 critique was given by you several years ago. Every bit of it was bang on, sending me down a road to writing that I never would have found otherwise. Your post here is so welcoming and informative! Thanks for extending your help even further❤️

  43. I have added so many pointers from this post to my master revision checklist. Thanks so much for your clear advice and examples!

  44. Thank you, Karla. 12×12 has really helped me generate first drafts. Your comments will be very helpful as I spend time on revisions during 2019. Very helpful points!

  45. I appreciate your insight. I think I’ve been using too much dialogue. I didn’t like the effect, but wasn’t sure why. You’ve explained it well.

  46. Karla – thank you, these were really helpful tips for aspects of PB story that I really struggle with. You’ve set me on my way for revisions in the new year.

  47. Karla,
    Your comments helped me to see improvements in a nonfiction manuscript that I’m working on. I’d love to know more about your class.

  48. Karla,
    Your tip about “me” having a definite goal in mind, if my story is about the MC just being…, perhaps sums up so much of my writing! That made it so clear for me. I’m printing your very valuable tips. Thank you for all of your critiques this year in 12×12!
    Happy New Year!

  49. Wonderful post with great advice and clear examples. Thank you, Karla! I’m looking forward to reading about Marie Curie ~ congratulations!!

  50. Karla,
    This post shows exactly why you were the December featured author for 12 X 12. I actually printed this post so that I can put your wise words into actions. I have a sneaking suspicion that writers who are fortunate enough to take your courses grow immensely. Thank you for sharing and guiding.

  51. Karla, thank you for the perfect post to start out the new year! It was a great review! Congrats on your new book:)

  52. Thank you, Karla. The examples are particularly helpful, but the entire post is chock full of helpful advice!

  53. Happy New Year Karla! I never realized that dialogue is telling not showing in my manuscripts. Thanks for the helpful tips as I dive into revisions this year.

  54. Thank you Karla! This is a fantastic list of tips…one which I will be printing out and running through with my drafts. I often forget the importance of allowing the reader to participate. I might be a bit of a control freak. But the most exciting stories are the ones we feel like we are living. Thanks for the reminder!

  55. Your show vs. tell examples are so helpful. I’m excited to go through my latest WIP to see where I labeled emotions instead of describing them. Your science heroes series is brilliant. Congratulations!

  56. What a great post Karla! Thank you for the very clear examples of showing vs telling. And, love the info regarding story arc. Looking forward to reading your new book. Best wishes and Happy New Year!

  57. ahhh! So many good tools. I’m going to have to use this as a reference when I revise a draft. Thanks for your tips!!

  58. Karla –

    Thank you for your help with “Show vs. Tell”. You gave some fresh information that I had never read about before. I hope you have another successful New Year too!

  59. Wow, thank you, Karla! To think that I almost missed out on this treasure house of information! Will be bookmarking this for future reference, that‘s for sure!

  60. Thanks for these clear and practical tips for examining how effectively a story is told and just where to troubleshoot when it’s not working. Keeping the focus on the reader and the reader’s reponses and reactions seems to be key. I think sometimes we–that, is, I– caught up in the character and story I’m creating, forget the reader entirely!

  61. I may have already commented earlier, butI wanted thank you for thereat advice–and for being my critique ninja! Happy New Year!

  62. Karla, your advice is just what I need to energize my writing. I’m going to post this above my writing table to reference whenever I’m stuck. Thank you so much!

  63. Thank you for this insightful article! I saved it the first time I read it and am going through my manuscripts with the filter of each of your bullet points: is this telling/showing, is this an opinion, is this a realistic goal, etc. I am thankful for this valuable help!

  64. Thank you so much for this valuable advice Karla! You gave us so many good, concrete examples! This is a great post to end the year on. Happy New Year! Can’t wait to read Marie Curie and the Power of of Persistence – a very relevant message for the kidlit world. 🙂

  65. Thank you for the terrific post, Karla. It’s so good I’m going to print it out as a reminder! I think it will also come in handy when critiquing peers mss – both PBs and JF.
    Congratulations with being the featured author and thank you for being a critique ninja for 12×12.

  66. Fantastic tips! Thank-you for topping off a great 12×12 year and getting us ready for a new one by sharing these pointers.

  67. Congratulations, Karla. What helpful tips for writers from an expert. I’ll be printing this for reading again and again. I’ll use many of these tips while writing for the 12 X 12 lessons.

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