Revision Tips that Work for Me
Happy June, 12x12ers! We are almost half way through the year. By now, you may have a few rough drafts waiting to be rediscovered and revised. If this is you—congratulations! — you have accomplished the hardest step of the revision process: letting your manuscripts breathe.
Here are four more tried and true revision tips (that work for me):
1. Write a pitch to get to the heart of your story.
As you get ready to revise, ask yourself: What is my story really about? The answer to this is your pitch. Write it down and rework anything that doesn’t serve the story. Then ask a follow-up question: Why would anyone care? Understanding how readers will connect with your story will let you know if your story has enough heart.
Real life example: My upcoming book Squawk of Spanish (Charlesbridge, 2024) is about a boy who’s embarrassed to speak Spanish because he can’t roll his Rs, so he gets help from his grandmother’s talkative parrot, Lorito. This is not an official pitch, but you can easily grasp how readers would connect with the story. The first draft of the book, however, was titled The Parrot Who Refused to Speak Spanish, and while a parrot refusing to speak Spanish is a funny premise, it had one big flaw: no one cares enough if a parrot doesn’t parrot in Spanish. I had to rewrite it to deliver heart.
2. Isolate the characters’ dialogue to work on voice.
Not all picture books have or need dialogue. But if dialogue is part of your story, it’s a great practice to revisit what your characters are saying. Here’s how I do it: open a new document, write the character’s name on top, and copy and paste each one of their lines. Do the same for every character in your story that has dialogue lines. Pay attention. What is your character saying? Does the dialogue reflect the character’s intent? personality? emotional arc?
Real life example: This exercise was incredibly useful for me in drafting a manuscript about a girl who is getting encouragement from her mom but not from her dad. It was a difficult balance: I needed to convey that the mom was cheering her on while being understanding of (and not against) her husband’s hesitation. I also had to convey the emotional journey of the father who is beaming with pride by the end. In certain books, the dialogue can do a lot of the heavy lifting in terms of emotional connection and voice. Make sure to revise accordingly.
3. Read the first and last lines of your story to ensure a satisfying beginning and ending.
Does your beginning and ending provide a sense of the story arc? Are they interesting on their own?
Real life example: Paula’s Patches (Free Spirit Publishing, 2023) had many different last lines. Here are the last lines when I sent the draft to my agent: “I smiled. We all needed patches! And every patch had a purpose as unique and special as its owner.” Way too sappy, not to mention didactic, right? Here are the last lines when it was acquired: “I smiled. We all needed patches—to mend, to decorate, to make things uniquely ours.” Better. But now it lacked voice and emotion. As my editor said, “Paula must be as pleased as punch by now!” and we needed to reflect that. This made me realize that the ending is not meant to be a conclusion. Paula still had to connect emotionally with readers. With this in mind, I revised so that Paula’s patch wouldn’t be revealed until the end of the book, making it a fun surprise that Paula shares with readers on the last page: “Now we all had patches—for mending, and decorating, and making things our very own. Everyone was smiling… [page turn] …and guess who had the biggest grin of all! [illustration note: Paula’s patch is revealed to be a smiley face].”
4. Paginate to revise the middle of your story.
When you know how your story is going to end, the middle can be particularly hard to write. You are writing in a rush to get to that satisfying ending and you may end up with a plot that resolves too easily. When this happens, copy and paste the middle of the manuscript, or any part that needs special attention, into a clean document. Paginate only this section to revise for pacing and flow.
Real life example: I’ve only very recently started to do this exercise, after too many manuscripts where I injured, killed off, or just sent someone running away in order to make my main character a fast hero. When my poor critique partners have to intervene on behalf of my characters, I (now) know to paginate. Pagination helps me figure out the next logical scene in the story. It helps me notice where the story needs to slow down and when my characters need more time to stay and explore the moment. (Side note: get yourself critique partners that won’t hesitate to take your characters’ side.)
There are a million and one revision tips out there. If you have a revision tip that works for you, please feel free to share in the comments below so we can all learn from each other. Thanks for reading!
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Gabriella Aldeman is a Panamanian American author and professional translator of children’s books and academic resources. Her books include Paula’s Patches (Free Spirit, 2023) and Squawk of Spanish (Charlesbridge, 2024). She lives in Fairfax, Virginia with her husband, two children, and a guinea pig named Giuseppe. For more revision tips, sign up for her monthly newsletter at www.writebetween.com.
Gabriella is offering one lucky 12 x 12 member a signed copy (and swag) of Paula’s Patches at the June check-in! Go write a new draft today!
12 x 12 may earn a commission from books purchased through the links in the post. Proceeds go to fund 12 x 12 diversity programming and scholarships.
97 Responses
This has landed in my inbox at the perfect time. I am finally getting to the serious business of revising my own work and this is just the intentional yet brief advice I needed to read. Now back to my revisions 🙂 …. Thank you!!
Great tips-thank you! My 12×12 critique ninja wrote a pitch for my story and I found it so useful-I really need to start doing this after my terrible first drafts, or even before!
Your words on pitch and dialogue were wisdom to my eyes and ears. It always amazes me when I read something that says what I am doing (or not doing) and smacks it into my head. Thanks for the advise.
An absolutely fabulous checklist for revision. Thank you!
What good ideas! I love how your critique partners “rescue” your characters. Congratulations of your book!
Love these revision tips! I also paginate all of my stories, and find it so helpful. Congratulations, Gabriella! Thanks for sharing, and I’m SO excited for your books! 🙂
Great tips, thank you, and congratulations on your new book!
Thank you for the terrific post and revision suggestions. This was a very helpful and insightful post!
Thank you for these awesome revision tips, Gabriella! I angst over those beginnings and satisfying endings. Your examples have helped me.
Thanks for the very useful revision tips.
These are great tips! Thank you for sharing, Gabriella!
Great post, Gabriella! Thank you for giving us a peek at your writing journey and your revision tips.
You mentioned, “When you know how your story is going to end, the middle can be particularly hard to write”… with me it’s the endings, especially with my MG. “The Misadventures of Ned.” I had the ending “open-ended “ as I wanted to leave it up to each individual reader to decide if Ned makes it home or not… but my critique group insisted that it needed to come to a satisfactory conclusion,,, so I rewrote it…and rewrote it! Nothing works!! ! “hate” it!! I keep revising, but no matter what I do it sounds sappy, and way toooo Disneyesque for the story line!! Well, it’s back to the drawing board!!
I always write pitches for my stories, but I love the follow-up question–Why would anyone care? That really helps get to the heart of the story. I also like the dialog strategy–very useful! Thank you so much!
Love that you use real life examples to land your tips in a practical manner. Thanks so much for sharing these tips, Gabriella!
Thank you for the tips! I love the idea of cutting and pasting each character’s dialogue. It will help me see if they are sounding like themselves- or just like me!
What a handy, hands-on approach to revision. Thank you!
I love these revision tips! I’ll be returning to this post!
Thank you Gabriella for these very helpful revision tips. I’ll be using them a lot.
I love your revision ideas! I have a MS pile ready to apply your techniques, particularly the pitch. If I can’t summarize in a pitch, where am I really heading with this MS?! Thank you! Congratulations on your amazing book. I can’t wait to read it!
These are great revision tips and they came at a perfect time. I have a few manuscripts that need revision. Thank you!
Thank you, Gabriella, for these great tips for working on my revisions! I have a number of them already that I use and these will be great additions. I look forward to reading your books and I wish you continued success with your writing.
Gabriella, sharing your step by step revision process with so many useful tips included, is a great resource for future use. I appreciate you using examples from your own work to clarify your points. The post was extremely helpful. I loved the ending in Paul’s Patches and it was so interesting to see how it evolved. Thanks for sharing and best of luck for your continued success.
Hi Gabriella – thanks for a great post – I love your revision tips and real-life examples. Congratulations on all your upcoming books – I look forward to reading them!
Thanks for sharing your real life examples with these revision tips. Always helpful to see how the advice was put into practice. Congrats on your upcoming book. I can’t wait to read all about Lorito. I’ll be practicing those rolling ‘r’s.
Wow, thank you for the tips. I especially like the idea of focusing on the dialogue in a separate document for analyzing and revising. Thank you so much and congratulations on your successes!
WOW! These are great revision tips. The tips on isolating dialogue and the middle of the story are particularly helpful. I have made note of your suggestions and expect to be referring to them often as I revise and edit. Thank you for your insights!
Loved these tips! And how you gave real life examples from your own work in how you used them! That was super helpful. I really like your pitch idea and looking at the first and last lines of the story. I think those are two tips that I can definitely work into my revision process!
Gabriella,
As Bridgitte says, the tips here are amazing–and so appreciated! Thank you so much for all you shared. 🙂
Regarding the first one (and because you asked us to share), one thing I learned from my now-agent in a PB workshop that I use every. single. time I write a story now is to write the pitch (at least for myself) as “It’s a story about [x], but it’s REALLY about [y].” I can’t tell you how much that has helped me clarify the plot and the emotional arc–and how I want them to inform one another.
Congrats on your upcoming books; I wish you every success with them! Woot-woot!
Thank you for the advice, Gabriella. I truly appreciate it.
I really love your ideas on revision. It’s just what I needed as I dive into my existing manuscripts this summer!
I have a ton of revisions to work on – I’m going to try your tips! Thank you for sharing them! Congratulations on your story successes (great examples!)
Gabriella,
What wonderful tips and tricks you shared with us this month. I can’t wait to cut and paste my dialogue and try that tip.
You asked for other suggestions. When dealing with dialogue, I sometimes write in different colors of ink. I’m definitely a visual person and the use of different colors helps dialogue pop off the page. Hope someone else finds this helpful.
Thanks for getting us revising this month!
Thanks for all the great tips. I love your techniques.
Thank you for these tips, Gabriella! I appreciate how you give suggestions specific to each part of a story. I especially like the dialogue exercise, and can’t wait to try them all!
Thanks for sharing these revision tips, Gabriella! Just what I needed to read as I dive into revisions this summer. I look forward to reading Paula’s Patches.
Wow, thank you this arrived just in time! Really appreciate you sharing these tips. Simple yet effective.
What a wonderful post, Gabriella. Thank you for sharing these outstanding revision tips. I needed this kind of coaching today!
Congratulations, also, on your new book!
Thank you for these amazing tips, Gabriella! I love this idea of writing a pitch. I typically wait until the very end to write the dreaded pitch, but writing it earlier would be extremely helpful for getting to the heart of the story. Isolating each character’s dialogue is another interesting idea. I’ve never tried this. Thanks so much!
Thank you for all the great revision tips!
Great tips! I’m printing this one out to come back to again and again
great ideas! thank you! and congrats on your upcoming publishing accomplishments!
Saving! Thanks for the great tips! Congratulations on your new book!
Definitely saving this post. Thanks for the revision tips.
This post was enlightening! I now have a new tool for checking dialogues in my manuscripts . Thank you for the tip!
I now have a novel way to heck dialogue in my manuscripts. Thank you!
Thank you for your revision ideas but especially for giving real life writing examples. It helps me to understand the skill needed so much more.
Congratulations, Gabriella! I appreciate the tips and welcome the reminders! Thanks for sharing.
These revision tips are Amazing! I especially like the one about isolating the characters’ dialogue to work on voice. This can especially help with eliminating unnecessary words.
Thanks for the great revision tips. I love that they are immediately actionable. I’m looking forward to reading Paula’s Patches. COngratulations on all your success.
Thanks for sharing your process, and including the examples of exactly how it has worked for you! I especially liked the suggestion to read the beginning and the ending. That has helped me to realize that things may be missing…oops! Back to revising!
Thank you for your thoughtful revision tips! It’s funny that most of the work writers do is reviewing and revising. Knowing how to do it successfully is a gift. Thank you!
Revise, Revise, REVISE! Your ideas were great and my best is using Word 365 to read aloud everything I write until it sounds good, Pitches, blurbs, manuscripts, everything! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for this post. Isolating dialog is a very good idea to uncover personalities and intent.
Great idea to look at first and last lines together. Did the story go full circle or did the opening set up where the ending leaves us?
These are great tips. I often attempt to write a quick pitch either when I finish my first draft or sometimes when I first get the idea. It helps me with what needs to be added or deleted in a story.
Love these revision tips! Thanks for sharing.
Such great advice! I will definitely put some of it into action. Thank you!
Gabriella, These are wonderful revising strategies! Thank you so much! Congratulations on your books!
Terrific tips! As a pre published author who has a manuscript with an ending but not necessarily a conclusion, I gained a lot of insight into how to make those last words count. Thank you!
Thanks for providing examples of how to improve your ms. It helps with rewrites. Best of luck with your books.
These tips are so helpful — thank you! I’ve recently begun including pitches at the top of my manuscripts, which help me focus on the underlying intention of my stories while editing. I find that I don’t always have my pitch in mind during the initial draft, though. I guess I know where I fall in a pantser/plotter dichotomy… The strategy for parsing out dialogue to revise voice is brilliant. I was just commenting to my critique partners that so many of my characters sound too much like me. What a great activity to focus on each character one at a time. Thanks so much!
Terrific approaches – so helpful. Thank you!
Loved the tips and will help me make sure I have enough going on when I paginate sentences or dialogue to get to the 14 spreads or more. I take too much time writing and getting to the end without looking back to see what will be shown on each page. This helps me slow down and look for illustration possibilities. Thanks
Such helpful tips! Thank you
Great checklist! I’m printing this out. And congratulations on PAULA’S PATCHES!
These are great revision tips! Thank you for sharing. Congratulations on PAULA’S PATCHES!
Thanks for the revision tips- I plan to use the character dialogue suggestion this week!
Thanks for the great revision tips. Congratulations on your upcoming books!
Love these tips!! Especially the Paginate the Middle of the Story!! Very clever! One thing that works for me is set the manuscript aside a couple of days and come back to it with fresh eyes so I can pin point details. Excited to read your books! Thank you,Gabriella! Abrazos, Mari
Looks adorable. Best Wishes!
Thank you for these useful tips such as “rewrite pitch to deliver heart.” This statement is posted on bulletin board. And “Paginate to revise the middle of the story.” This tip is new to me, but it makes so much sense. I’m especially interested in PB geared to ages 5-9 and noted Paula’s Patches does. Rocio A. Mendoza’s illustrations bring a smile.
So many great tips for revision! Thank you! I’m revisiting my most recent project right now with these in mind.
Your timing on your recommendations is perfect timing for what I am working on. Thank you! Congratulations on your upcoming book. It sounds wonderful!
This is a very practical post! I love the idea of isolating the dialogue in order to balance. I will definitely use your suggestions.
Revision is always my “problem area!” Thank You!
Congrats on both books!
That was awesome. Thank you and congratulations on your success. I appreciate your insight.
Fabulous tips! Thank you for sharing them and the examples. I will definitely be applying these to the draft I am currently revising.
I’m bookmarking this. Excellent advice and examples. I especially need to work on #1 and #3. I never thought about paginating an unfinished or saggy middle when revising, but I plan to try it.
I’m looking forward to reading Squawk for Spanish. I can’t roll my Rs either (except when I’m trying to speak Japanese.)
These are all such great tips! I love the point that the ending is not “a conclusion.” Thanks!
Great tips, Gabriella! Thank you!
Yes! I always rush the middle. Pagination is the salvation!
Awesome tips, Gabriella! Thank you for sharing, and congratulations on your books! 🙂
Thank you, Gabriella, for some fabulous tips and samples how to apply. Very useful! Congratulations on your success!
Goodness, these are such helpful revision tips. Thank you, Gabriella! I’m going to print these out and pull them out regularly. 🙂
Gabriella –
Thank you – I liked the part about asking yourself, “Would anybody care?”
These were great reminders and also new ideas. Thank you!
What a fabulous, focused, fired-up set of suggestions for revisions! I am going to put wheels on these ideas this week! They are amazingly perfect for me at the place where I am right now. Manuscripts are languishing in my special white boxes, which are supposed to motivate me to open them and get to work. But these suggestions are the catalyst I needed to get busy and revise with verve and fervor.
Thanks for all these helpful revision tips! Congratulations on PAULA’S PATCHES!!
Thank you for sharing your tips. Each suggestion has been very helpful with my latest manuscript. Congratulations on PAULA’S PATCHES. Here’s to your continued success!
“Had to rewrite to deliver heart.” Oh yeah, heart is the hardest thing to get to.
These are fabulous revision tips! Thank you, Gabriella!
Thanks so much for that practical advice and real life examples.
Thank you, Gabriella. Your revision advice sounds very helpful. I especially like the dialogue suggestion. I know of at least one of my stories I can use this on.
Congratulations on your picture book success. I’m excited to read “Paula’s Patches”.
Writing the pitch is something that completely changed my writing for the better! I’ve been doing it nearly a year now and it makes all the difference. I hadn’t heard that tip about dialogue and am now eager to try it. Thank you!!
I needs this helpful suggestions, especially isolating the dialogue of characters. What a great way to isolate and check the consistency of your characters voice and personality. Thank you!
Love your examples, especially on your last line revision. That highlighted how a sentence can go from fine to great to aww.
Thank you for sharing your personal revisions and tips! Shelving a story for a little while is helpful to me, but dealing with the beginning, middle and end challenges are still there and thanks to your tips, I can now forge ahead!